I’ve been working for Termageddon for well over two years now. This means I’ve seen my fair share of PPs… 

On second thought, let’s avoid abbreviations for this blog. 

*I’ve seen my fair share of Privacy Policies. There we go.

Two years might not sound like a lot of time, but it’s just the right amount of time to start getting a little judgy over other people’s policies.

HOWEVER, don’t fret. I too know what it’s like to be judged. 

You see, my two years working at Termageddon means two years of working from home. In that time I’ve learned there is a right and wrong way to be judged.

The wrong way: Walk into your husband’s office and say, “You might want to go outside every once in a while to see what other people are wearing…” before turning around and walking back out.

The right way: Offer specific examples, like: “Hey, Honey! Thank you for working so hard to make the world a better place one Privacy Policy at a time, but I think you should take a moment to reconsider your wardrobe. It hasn’t been the same since you found out winter Crocs were a thing. Also, not all pants have to be elastic.” 

So, without further adieu, here are eleven specific examples of words and phrases you never want to see on your Privacy Policy page.

THIS IS NOT LEGAL ADVICE – phew, almost forgot. I almost didn’t make it to year three.

Error 404 – Page not found

Let’s start with the basics. Most modern websites need a Privacy Policy. The only thing worse than having someone critique your wardrobe is to be naked. Don’t leave your website naked!

Lorem Ipsum

Ah, the official language of procrastination. While I personally find this dialect to be alluring, it’s more alarming when it comes to Privacy Policies. Leave the Lorem Ipsum filler text to the About Us pages, not the policy pages.

*Insert Company Name

Tell me you used a template without telling me you used a template. There are many reasons to avoid free Privacy Policy Templates. They don’t work, being the primary reason. The only thing that can make them worse for your Privacy Policy is not bothering to fill them out all the way. This can also happen when copying and pasting policies and forgetting to change out the name of the company you stole it from.

Last updated in 2018

A Privacy Policy should always start with when it was last updated. Privacy Policies are not static documents. They should be updated every time a privacy law changes, a new law goes into effect, or new rules/regulations are issued. A policy that hasn’t been updated for several years will stand out like parachute pants… or something. I’m just trying to keep the theme going here. It should be clear by now that my fashion opinions are irrelevant. 

“Terms and Conditions”

Killing two birds with one stone is great if you’re a budding serial killer, but not if you’re wanting to respect people’s privacy. All your policies need to have their own hyperlink with their own page. No sharing! And don’t even get me started on putting ‘Legal’ in your footer.

“We don’t share your data”

It’s becoming increasingly rare for a website to not share any data. It’s first important to make sure you’re not mixing up sharing vs selling data (selling is rare, sharing is not). Sharing data like names, email addresses, IP Addresses, etc. happens all the time via:

• Newsletters – sharing name and email addresses with email service providers (e.g. MailChimp, Active Campaign, etc).
• Analytics tools: sharing IP addresses with analytics service providers (e.g. Google Analytics)
• Digital ad pixels: sharing IP addresses with Facebook, LinkedIn, etc.
• Video/map embeds: sharing IP addresses with YouTube, Vimeo, Google, etc.
• Online payments: sharing name, email, phone number, physical address, payment information with eCommerce tools (e.g. Shopify, Stripe, etc.)

“Colorado privacy notice”, Utah Privacy notice”, “California Privacy notice…”

Privacy laws have disclosures that are specific to each law. That being said, certain disclosures may repeat from law to law. When possible, combine these disclosures to keep your Privacy Policy simple and clutter-free for visitors. 

“Privacy Shield Framework”

If your Privacy Policy says something like, “company complies with the EU-US Privacy Shield Framework to transfer personal information from the European Union to the United States,” this might be a sign that it’s out of date. That’s because the Privacy Shield Framework was invalidated in 2020 and replaced by the EU-US Data Privacy Framework. 

“Data stored indefinitely”

Multiple privacy laws, including GDPR and UK DPA prohibit companies from storing personal information for longer than it is needed. A specific time period or factors used to determine that period must be listed (e.g. 2 years or until you are no longer a customer) 

“Including the United Kingdom”

Many Privacy Policies still say things like “residents of the European Union (including the United Kingdom)…” The UK left the EU in 2020, so they can no longer be combined in statements like that. 

“Get your free Privacy Policy Here”

We get it. Turning every customer’s Privacy Policy into a backlink farm would help with Termageddon’s current SEO situation, but a Privacy Policy isn’t required to disclose who created it. Therefore, we don’t put it in there and continue looking down at our competition from our moral high ground… located on page 2 or 3 of Google search results.

Jokes aside, don’t let a company use your website policies to promote themselves – especially if they are offering their service for free. There are no free generators or templates on the market that can properly cover your website. Many of the ‘free’ generators out there will upcharge you as you go through the process. So, always be wary of promoting these tools via your Privacy Policy. 

Conclusion

Let’s call it quits there. That gives you eleven things to look for in your own Privacy Policies to make sure nobody is judging them.

Plus, I can now feel you all judging my overuse of the Ryan Gosling gif like:

Luckily we can all move on and start fresh. Whether that fresh start is creating a Privacy Policy with Termageddon, considering wearing shoes with actual laces on them, or finally letting Ryan Gosling move on from your meme library.

Nobody is perfect. Don’t judge me.